The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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