You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Rumble strips road head = magical
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize