Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
