okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
