she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
