New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
