Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
