dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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