i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
