But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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