What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
