he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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