these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
