my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
