insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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