But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We have so much sex to catch up on
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
