Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
