i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
