part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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