I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
