im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
