just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize