dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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