A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
