I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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