You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
