I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
