Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
well you can't waste a boner
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
