I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
