k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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