Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
