your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
