On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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