did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
