Swine flu is the new snow day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
