I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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