I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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