We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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