I wanna passion pit in your ass
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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