Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
