One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
