So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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