Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
