is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
