Will you blow on my dice?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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