his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
