At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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