He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He passed out mid-signature
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
