just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
