WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
