They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
