Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
