you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
