Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
high people should be assigned attendants
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
