If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
please don't ironically join a cult
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