im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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