I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
