about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
