i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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