But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
