the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
